Exercise.

I have a terrible relationship with exercise.  Exercising makes me feel so good, yet so bad.  Exercising regularly helps lessen several of my symptoms, but boy, does it give me a headache!  I'm terribly out of shape these days.  I have to sit and rest after vacuuming my tiny living room.  I need to start slow, and that's my problem.  I want to go big right away.  And when it doesn't work, I give up.  I took up swimming this summer.  It was fantastic for a couple of weeks, and then I tried really swimming rather than just kicking around.  When I couldn't do it, I gave up.  Same with walking.  I tried that last year for a while but couldn't stick with it.  It seemed pointless to go to the gym and walk only half a mile.  It's hard to convince myself to exercise when I know I can't do much and that any exertion is going to make my headache worse.  But sitting and feeling sorry for myself doesn't help either.

So this is me committing to finding an exercise regimen I can stick with.  Here are the things I'm going to try:

• water aerobics
• swimming
• walking
• yoga

They're all things I've tried before, but mild exercise is hard to come by.  And this time I'm accepting from the beginning that it's going to be hard and that I'm going to have to take it slowly.  I may have to leave after 15 minutes of the 45-minute water aerobics session, and that's okay.  I may have to swim while holding on to a kickboard or only walk to the end of the block and back or skip the hard moves in yoga.  But all that's okay.  I'll probably get discouraged along the way, and I'll probably want to quit, but I'm going to try.  I need it for my well-being.

Waiting.

I'm a little less hopeful than I was the last time I blogged.  I had Botox; it may have helped a teensy bit but nothing outstanding.  I decided not to try the stimulator yet because my neurologist suggested I try Botox again before knocking it.  Sometimes it helps more the second time than the first.  I can't have it again until March, though.  So I'm back to waiting.

I do have a plan of action, which should be encouraging, but I'm a little less than encouraged right now.  Those teensy moments when the Botox did help, I was pretty much pain-free, which is a big deal.  However, I still had all the other migraine symptoms, like nausea, dizziness, just plain feeling bad.  A treatment like Botox or a nerve stimulator will only take away the pain.  The other symptoms--which are often just as bad as the pain--will always be there.

So I feel like I'm sort of at a dead end.  All that's left to do is wait.  But I'm prepared to wait.  David writes in Psalm 39:7, "And now, Lord, for what do I wait?  My hope is in You."  I'm ready to wait for relief, yes; but I don't have to wait to live my life.  My hope is in Him, so I have everything I need right now.  I may not be able to live a full life according to the world's standards, but the Lord has a plan.  I don't have to spend my time waiting; He's fulfilling His plan right here right now.  I have to depend only on Him, and He is already working.